Four Pounds and a Shell

One of the Sister Goddesses in my Pleasure Revival class last night bragged that she had shed her shell and lost four pounds in a week.

A week of spring cleaning and feeling right about herself. A week of celebrating herself with brags, thanking the Universe with a long list of things she was grateful for, expressing her deepest most delicious desires, and sharing all of that with us. A week that felt strange and new and not a little scary - after all a hard shell does such a nice job protecting from the jibs and jabs of the world, but soft slippery skin, now that's a totally startling feeling.

Minus four pounds and in her new skin, she noticed the breezes, the sun warming her, the risk, and a delightful one at that, of the possibility of sun burn. Risks, you see, are delightful when they are fully owned by you! Yeah, this all felt new and exciting and weird. It was as overwhelming as walking for the first time. Or maybe, like walking for the first time after a lengthy recovery process, during which even the doctors predicted life in a wheel chair. In a way, this fresh moist silky skin felt somehow remembered. Remembered from when? in early girlhood, from ancient times, on the dance floor, in the ocean waves, through ecstasy in bed...

I remember the moment that I finally realized that the world was big enough for me, that I didn't need to keep myself in a box. That even conservative Richmond had the balls to meet me in my full and glorious Goddesshood. That my marriage was big enough for me. And, if at any time anything felt claustrophobic, that it was up to me to stretch it and redefine until it fit me fabulously.

What an amazing moment! I literally danced around the halls of Mama Gena's School of Womanly Arts, grabbing sister goddesses, and squealing, "The world is big enough for me! Richmond is big enough for me! My marriage is big enough for me!"

I can't tell you how delicious that feels, to finally know that I am right in this world. That there is not one little itty bitty thing about me I need to change. That in all of my outrageousness I am absolutely perfect. In my sassy, saucy, quiet, loud, angry, noisy, silly, sexy moments, I am Divine. That I don't need a shell or a box or anything to hold me in or hold me together or keep me from scaring or scarring the world. Nope and no thank you to boxes (unless they hold new shoes or presents) or shells (unless I am picking them up off the beach or cradling them to my ear to hear the ocean).

YES!! to wet, slippery, silky skin!!! YES!! to stretching and moving and taking up space!!! YES!! to creating the marriage, community, city, and world of my desire!!! YES!! YES!!! YES!!!

The four pounds, by the way, came off not because she's dieting, which she isn't...but because she is filling her life with more, Pleasure!!!